TRUMP DEFENDS SUMMONING CTHULHU

By Arkham Gazette staff

This weekend President Trump defended his office’s controversial use of the Necronomicon to summon Cthulhu, a cosmic entity whose cruel indifference is outmatched only by his indifferent cruelty, in a fiery tweetstorm, as well as a Fox and Friends interview Saturday and prayer breakfast on Sunday.  Critics say the High Priest of the Great Old Ones, who rose with his previously-sunken city R’lyeh on Thursday, poses an existential threat to all of humanity, but the president downplayed those fears.

“Cthulhu’s going to be the best thing for the country, and the world, believe me,” he told the Westboro Baptist Church’s June Prayer Breakfast Symposium on Sunday.  “Better than Hillary Clinton, you better believe it.”

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